Our Relation to Children
by
C. W.
Leadbeater
[abridged]
1.
It cannot be denied that from the theosophical
standpoint the subject of our relation to children is an exceedingly important
and practical one. Realizing, as we must, the purpose for which the ego [
relatively permanent self, not the personality ]
descends into incarnation, and knowing to how great an extent its attainment of
that purpose depends upon the training given to its various vehicles during
their childhood and growth, we cannot but feel, if we think at all, that a
tremendous responsibility attaches to all of us who are in any way connected
with children, whether as parents, elder relatives, or teachers. It is well,
therefore, that we should consider what hints Theosophy can give us as to the
way in which we can best discharge this responsibility.
2.
It may seem
presumptuous that a bachelor should venture to offer suggestions to parents
upon a subject so especially their own; so I ought, perhaps, to preface such
remarks as I wish to make by saying that, though I have none of my own, I have
always been fond of children, and in very close relation with them through
almost the whole of my life — for many years as a Sunday school teacher, then
as a clergyman, school-manager and choir trainer, and as headmaster of a large
boys' school. So that I am, at any rate, speaking from long, practical
experience, and not merely vaguely theorizing.
3.
Before making
suggestions, however, I should like to draw attention to the present condition
of our relation to children in the midst of European civilization. Our children
regard grown-up people (in the mass) with scarcely veiled hostility, or, at the
best, with a kind of armed neutrality, and always with deep distrust, as
foreigners whose motives are incomprehensible to them, and whose actions are
perpetually interfering in the most unwarrantable and apparently malicious
manner with their right to enjoy themselves in their own way. I should strongly
advise every parent to read Kenneth Grahame's The Golden Age; it puts
the children's point of view better than any other book which I know.
4.
Many a man, or woman,
thinks of children only as noisy, dirty, greedy, clumsy, selfish and generally
objectionable; and he never realizes that there may be a good deal of
selfishness in this point of view of his, and that if any part of his
indictment is true, the fault has been not so much in the children themselves
as in the unreasonable way in which they have been brought up; furthermore,
that in any case his duty is not to widen the chasm between them and himself by
adopting an attitude of dislike and distrust, but rather to endeavour to
improve the position of affairs by judicious kindness and hearty, patient
friendliness and sympathy.
5.
Surely there is
something wrong about such unsatisfactory relations; surely some improvement
might be brought about in this unfortunate condition of mutual hostility and
mistrust. Of course, there are honourable exceptions — there are children who
trust their teachers and teachers who trust their students, and I myself have
never found any difficulty in winning the confidence of the juveniles by
treating them properly; but in a sadly large number of instances the case is as
I have described it.
6.
In Oriental Countries
7.
That it need not be so
is shown not only by the exceptions mentioned above, but by the condition of
affairs which we find existing in some oriental lands. I have not yet had the
pleasure of visiting Japan,
but I hear from those who have been there and have made some study of this
question, that there is no country in the world where children are so well and
so sensibly treated — where their relations with their elders are so completely
satisfactory. Harshness, it is said, is entirely unknown, yet the children in
no way presume upon the gentleness of the older people. In India and Ceylon
also, on the whole, the relations of children and adults are certainly more
rational than they usually are in England,
though I have occasionally seen instances of undue severity there which show
that those countries have not yet attained quite so high a level as Japan in this
respect.
8.
No doubt this is
partly due to the difference of race. The oriental child usually has not the
irrepressible animal spirits and the intense physical activity of his English
representative, nor has he his pronounced aversion to mental exertion. Strange
and incomprehensible as it would sound to the ears of a British schoolboy, the
Indian child is really eager to learn, and is always willing to do any amount
of work out of school-hours in order that he may make more rapid progress. It
is no injustice to the average English boy to say that he regards play as the
most important part of his life, and that he looks upon lessons as distinctly a
bore to be avoided as far as possible, or perhaps as a kind of game which he
has to play against the teacher. If the latter can force him to learn anything,
that counts as a score to the side of authority: but if he can anyhow escape
without learning a lesson, then he in turn has scored a point. In the East,
such a child as this is the exception and not the rule; the majority of them
are really anxious to learn, and co-operate intelligently with their teacher
instead of offering him ceaseless though passive resistance.
9.
Perhaps if I describe
a little incident which I have more than once witnessed in Ceylon, it will
help my readers to understand how different the position of children really is
in an oriental race. Readers of The Arabian Nights will remember how
it constantly happens that when some king or great man is sitting in judgement,
a casual passer-by — perhaps a porter or beggar — breaks in and offers his
opinion on the matter in hand, and is politely listened to, instead of being
summarily arrested or ejected for such a breach of the proprieties.
10.
Impossible as this
seems to us, it was undoubtedly absolutely true to life, and on a smaller scale
the same sort of thing occurs today, as I myself have seen. It came in the
course of my work to travel about among the villages of Ceylon, trying to
induce their residents to appreciate the advantages of education, and to found
schools in which their children could be systematically taught their own
religion instead of being left either to the rather haphazard instruction of
the monks at the pansalas, or to the proselytizing efforts of the Christian
missionaries.
11.
When I arrived at a
village I called upon the headman, and asked him to convoke the inhabitants to
hear what I had to say; and after the address the chief people of the place
usually held a sort of council, to decide where and how their school should be
built and how they could best set about the work. Such a council was generally
held in the verandah of the headman's house or under a great tree close by,
with the whole village in attendance around the debaters.
12.
More than once on such
occasions I have seen a small boy of ten or twelve stand up respectfully before
the great people of his little world, and suggest, deferentially, that if the
school were erected in the place proposed it would make it exceedingly
inconvenient for such and such children to attend; and in every case the small
boy was treated precisely as an adult would have been, the local grandees
listening courteously and patiently, and allowing their due weight to the
juvenile's arguments. What would happen if in England an agricultural labourer's
child publicly offered a suggestion to the county magnates gathered in solemn
assembly, one hardly dares to imagine; probably that child's suppression would
be summary and unpleasant; but as a matter of fact the situation is absolutely
unthinkable under our present conditions — more is the pity!
13.
Better Understanding
Needed
14.
But how, it may be
asked, is it proposed that this position of mutual mistrust and
misunderstanding should be improved? Well, it is evident that in cases where
this breach already exists, it can be bridged over only by unwearying kindness,
and by gradual, patient but constant efforts to promote a better understanding
by steadily showing unselfish affection and sympathy; in fact by habitually
putting ourselves in the child's place and trying to realize exactly how all
these matters appear to him. If we, who are adults, had not so entirely
forgotten our own childish days, we should make far greater allowances for the
children of today, and should understand and deal with them much better.
15.
This is, however, very
emphatically one of the cases in which the old proverb holds good, which tells
us that prevention is better than cure. If we will but take a little trouble to
begin in the right way with our children from the very first, we shall easily
be able to avoid the undesirable state of affairs which we have been
describing. And this is exactly where Theosophy has many a valuable hint to
offer to those who are in earnest in wishing to do their duty by the young ones
committed to their charge.
16.
Of course, the absolute
nature of this duty of parents and teachers towards children must first be
recognized. We cannot too strongly or too repeatedly insist that parentage is
an exceedingly heavy responsibility of a religious nature, however lightly and
thoughtlessly it may often be undertaken. Those who bring a child into the
world make themselves directly responsible to the law of karma for the
opportunities of evolution which they ought to give to that ego, and heavy
indeed will be their penalty if by their carelessness or selfishness they put
hindrances in his path, or fail to render him all the help and guidance which
he has a right to expect from them. Yet how often the modern parent entirely
ignores this obvious responsibility; how often a child is to him nothing but a
cause of fatuous vanity or an object of thoughtless neglect!
17.
The Child and
Reincarnation
18.
Now, if we want to
understand our duty towards the child we must first consider how he came to be
what he is — that is to say, we must trace him back in thought to his previous
incarnation. Fifteen hundred years ago or so your child was perhaps a Roman
citizen, perhaps a philosopher of Alexandria, perhaps an early Briton; but
whatever may have been his outward circumstances, he had a definite disposition
of his own — a character containing various more or less developed qualities,
some good and some bad.
19.
In due course of time
that life of his came to an end; but remember that whether that end came slowly
by disease or old age, or swiftly by some accident or violence, its advent made
no sudden change of any sort in his character. A curious delusion seems to
prevail in many quarters that the mere fact of death will at once turn a demon
into a saint — that, whatever a man's life may have been, the moment he dies he
becomes practically an angel of goodness. No idea could possibly be further
from the truth, as those whose work lies in trying to help the departed know
full well. The casting off of a man's physical body no more alters his
disposition than does the casting off of his overcoat; he is precisely the same
man the day after his death as he was the day before, with the same vices and
the same virtues.
20.
True, now that he is
functioning only on the astral plane he has not the same opportunities of
displaying them; but though they may manifest themselves in the astral life in
quite a different manner, they are none the less still there, and the
conditions and duration of that life are their result. On that plane he must
stay until the energy poured forth by his lower desires and emotions during
physical life has worn itself out — until the astral body which he has made for
himself disintegrates; for only then can he leave it for the higher and more
peaceful realm of the heaven-world. But though those particular passions are
for the time worn out and non-existent for him, the germs of the qualities in
him, which made it possible for them to exist in his nature, are still there.
They are latent and ineffective, certainly, because desire of that type
requires astral matter for its manifestation; they are what Madame Blavatsky
once called 'privations of matter', but they are quite ready to come into
renewed activity, if stimulated, when the man again finds himself under
conditions where they can act.
21.
An analogy may
perhaps, if not pushed too far, be of use in helping us to grasp this idea. If
a small bell be made to ring continuously in an airtight vessel, and the air be
then gradually withdrawn, the sound will grow fainter and fainter, until it
becomes inaudible. The bell is still ringing as vigorously as ever, yet its
vibration is no longer manifest to our ears, because the medium by means of
which alone it can produce any effect upon them is absent. Admit the air into
the vessel, and immediately you hear the sound of the bell once more just as
before.
22.
Similarly, there are
certain qualities in man's nature which need astral matter for their
manifestation, just as sound needs either air or some denser matter for its
vehicle; and when, in the process of his withdrawal into himself after what we
call death, he leaves the astral plane for the mental, those qualities can no
longer find expression, and must therefore perforce remain latent. But when,
centuries later, on his downward course into reincarnation he re-enters the
astral plane, these qualities which have remained latent for so long manifest
themselves once more and become the tendencies of the next personality.
23.
In the same way there
are qualities of the mind which need for their expression the matter of the
lower mental levels; and when, after his long rest in the heaven-world the
consciousness of the man withdraws into the true ego upon the higher mental
levels, these qualities also pass into latency.
24.
But when the ego is
about to reincarnate, it has to reverse this process of withdrawal — to pass
downward through the very same planes through which it came on its upward
journey. When the time of its outflow comes, it puts itself down first on to
the lower levels of its own plane, and seeks to express itself there as far as
is possible in that less perfect and less plastic matter.
25.
In order that it may
so express itself and function upon that plane it must clothe itself in the
matter of the plane, just as an entity at a spiritualistic séance, when it
wishes to move physical objects, materializes a temporary physical hand with
which to do it, or, at any rate, employs physical forces of some kind to
produce its results. It is not at all necessary that such a hand should be
materialized sufficiently to be visible to our dull, ordinary sight. But to
produce a physical result there must be materialization to a certain extent —
as far as etheric matter, at any rate.
26.
Thus the ego
aggregates around itself matter of the lower mental levels — the matter which
will afterwards become its mind-body. But this matter is not selected at
random; on the contrary, out of all the varied and inexhaustible store around
him he attracts to himself just such a combination as is perfectly fitted to
give expression to his latent mental qualities. In precisely the same way, when
he makes the further descent on to the astral plane, the matter of that plane
which is by natural law attracted to him to serve as his vehicle in that world,
is exactly that which will give expression to the desires which were his at the
conclusion of his last birth. In point of fact, he resumes his life on each
plane just where he left it last time.
27.
Observe that those are
not as yet in any way qualities in action; they are simply the germs of
qualities, and for the moment their only influence is to secure for themselves
a possible field of manifestation, by providing suitable matter for their
expression in the various vehicles of the child. Whether they develop once more
in this life into the same definite tendencies as in the last one, will depend
very largely upon the encouragement or otherwise given to them by the
surroundings of the child during its early years. Any one of them, good or bad,
may be very readily stimulated into activity by encouragement, or on the other
hand may be, as it were, starved out for lack of that encouragement. If
stimulated, it becomes a more powerful factor in the man's life this time than
it was in his previous existence; if starved out, it remains all through the
life merely as an unfructified germ, and does not make its appearance in the
succeeding incarnation at all.
28.
This then is the
condition of the child when first he comes under his parent's care. He cannot
be said to have as yet a definite mind-body or a definite astral body, but he
has around and within him the matter out of which these are to be built.
29.
He possesses
tendencies of all sorts, some of them good and some of them evil, and it is in
accordance with the development of these tendencies that that building will be
regulated. And this development in turn depends almost entirely upon the
influences brought to bear upon him from outside during the first few years of
his existence.
30.
Shaping the Child's
Future
31.
It is simply
impossible to exaggerate the plasticity of these unformed vehicles. We know
that the physical body of a child, if only its training be begun at a
sufficiently early age, may be modified to a very considerable extent. An
acrobat, for example, will take a boy of five or six years old, whose bones and
muscles are not yet as hardened and firmly set as ours are, and will gradually
accustom his limbs and body to take readily and with comfort all sorts of
positions, which would be absolutely impossible for most of us even with any
amount of training. Yet our own bodies at the same age differed in no essential
respect from that boy's, and if they had been put through the same exercises
they would have become as supple and elastic as his, though now that they are
definitely set no efforts that we could make, however long continued, could
give them the same easy flexibility.
32.
Now if the physical
body of a child is thus plastic and readily impressible, his astral and mental
vehicles are far more so. They thrill in response to every vibration which they
encounter, and are eagerly receptive with regard to all influences, whether
good or evil, which emanate from those around them. And they resemble the
physical body also in this other characteristic — that though in early youth
they are so susceptible and so easily moulded, they very soon set and stiffen
and acquire definite habits, which when once firmly established can be altered
only with great difficulty.
33.
When we realize this,
we see at once the extreme importance of the surroundings in which a child
passes his earliest years, and the heavy responsibility which rests upon every
parent to see that the conditions of the child's development are as good as
they can be made. The little creature is as clay in our hands, to mould almost
as we will; moment by moment the germs of good or evil quality brought over
from the last birth are awakening into activity; moment by moment are being
built up those vehicles which will condition the whole of his after-life; and
it rests with us to awaken the germ of good, to starve out the germ of evil. To
a far larger extent than is ever realized by even the fondest parents, the
child's future is under their control.
34.
Think of all the
friends whom you know so well, and try to imagine what splendid specimens of
humanity they would be if all their good qualities were enormously intensified,
and all the less estimable features absolutely weeded out of their characters.
35.
That is the result
which it is in your power to produce in your child if you do your full duty by
him; such a specimen of humanity you may make him if you will but take the
trouble.
36.
Strengthen the Good
37.
But how? you will say;
by precept? by education? Yes, truly, much may be done in that way when the
time comes; but another and far greater power than that is in your hands — a
power which you may begin to wield from the very moment of the child's birth,
and even before that; and that is the power of the influence of your own life.
To some extent this is recognized, for most civilized people are careful of
their words and actions in the presence of a child, and it would be an
unusually depraved parent who would allow his children to hear him use violent
language, or to see him give way to a fit of passion; but what a man does not
realize is that if he wishes to avoid doing the most serious harm to his little
ones, he must learn to control not only his words and deeds, but also his
thoughts. It is true that you cannot immediately see the pernicious effect of
an evil thought or desire upon the mind of your child, but none the less it is
there, and it is more real and more terrible, more insidious and more
far-reaching, than the harm which is obvious to the physical eye.
38.
If a parent allows
himself to cherish feelings of anger or jealousy, of envy or avarice, of
selfishness or pride, even though he may never give them outward expression,
the vibrations which he thereby causes in his own desire-body are assuredly
acting all the while upon the plastic astral body of his child, tuning its
vibrations to the same key, awakening into activity any germs of these sins
that may have been brought over from his past life, and setting up in him also
the same set of evil habits, which when they have once become definitely formed
will be exceedingly difficult to correct. And this is exactly what is being
done in the case of most of the children whom we see around us.
39.
As it presents itself
to a clairvoyant, the aura of a child is very often a most beautiful object —
pure and bright in its colour, free, as yet, from the stains of sensuality and
avarice and from the dull cloud of ill will and selfishness which so frequently
darkens all the life of the adult. In it are to be seen lying latent all the
germs and tendencies of which we have spoken — some of them evil, some of them
good, and thus the possibilities of the child's future life lie plain before
the eye of the watcher.
40.
But how sad it is to
see the change which almost invariably comes over that lovely child-aura as the
years pass on — to note how persistently the evil tendencies are fostered and
strengthened by his environment, and how entirely the good ones are neglected!
and so incarnation after incarnation is almost wasted, and a life which, with
just a little more care and self-restraint on the part of the parents and
teachers, might have borne rich fruit of spiritual development, comes practically
to nothing, and at its close leaves scarce any harvest to be garnered into the
ego of which it has been so very one-sided an expression.
41.
When one watches the
criminal carelessness with which those who are responsible for the bringing up
of children allow them to be perpetually surrounded by all kinds of evil and
worldly thoughts, one ceases to marvel at the extraordinary slowness of human
evolution, and the almost imperceptible progress which is all that the ego has
to show for life after life spent in the toil and struggle of this lower world.
Yet with so little more trouble so vast an improvement might be introduced!
42.
It needs no astral
vision to see what a change would come over this weary old world if the
majority, or even any large proportion of the next generation, were subjected
to the process suggested above — if all their evil qualities were steadily so
allowed to atrophy for lack of nourishment, while all the good in them
assiduously cultivated and developed to the fullest possible extent. One has
only to think what they in turn would do for their children to realize that in
two or three generations all the conditions of life would be different, and a
true golden age would have begun. For the world at large that age may still be
distant, but surely we who are members of the Theosophical Society ought each
to be doing our best to hasten its advent: and though the influence of our
example may not extend very far, it is at least within our power to see that
our own children have for their development every advantage which we can give
them.
43.
The very greatest
care, then, ought to be taken as to the surroundings of children. People who
will persist in thinking coarse and unloving thoughts should at least learn
that while they are doing so they are unfit to come near the young, lest they
infect them with a contagion more virulent than fever. Much care is needed, for
example, in the selection of the nurses to whom children must sometimes be
committed; though it is surely obvious that the less they are left in the hands
of servants the better. Nurses often develop the strongest affection for their
charges, and treat them as though they were of their own flesh and blood, yet
this is not invariably the case, and, however that may be, it should be
remembered that the servants are almost inevitably less educated and less
refined than their mistresses, and that, therefore, a child who is left too
much to their companionship is constantly subjected to the impact of thought
which is at least not unlikely to be of a less elevated order than even the
average level of that of his parents. So that the mother who wishes her child
to grow up into a refined and delicate-minded individual should entrust him to
the care of others as little as possible, and should, above all things, take
good heed of her own thoughts while watching over him.
44.
Her great and cardinal
rule should be to allow herself to harbour no thought and no desire which she
would not wish to see reproduced in her child. Nor is this merely negative
conquest over herself sufficient, for, happily, all that has been said about
the influence and power of thought is true of good thoughts just as much as of
evil ones, and so the parents' duty has a positive as well as a negative side.
Not only must they abstain most carefully from fostering, by unworthy or
selfish thoughts of their own, any evil tendency which may exist in their
child, but it is also their duty to cultivate in themselves strong, unselfish
affection, pure thoughts, high and noble aspirations, in order that all these
may react upon their charge, quicken whatever of good is already latent in him,
and create a tendency towards any good quality which is as yet unrepresented in
his character.
45.
How Thought Works
46.
Nor need they have any
fear that such effort on their part will fail of its effect, because they are
unable to follow its action for lack of astral vision. To the sight of a
trained clairvoyant the whole transaction is obvious; he would distinguish the
vibrations set up in the mind-body of the parent by the inception of the
thought, would see it radiating forth, and note the sympathetic vibration
created by its impingement upon the mind-body of the child: and if he renewed
his observations at intervals during some considerable period, he would discern
the gradual but permanent change produced in that mind-body by the constant
repetition of the same stimulus to progress. If the parents themselves
possessed the astral sight, it would, no doubt, be of great assistance to them
in showing exactly what were the capabilities of their child, and in what
directions he most needed development; but if they have not yet that advantage,
there need not, therefore, be the slightest doubt or question about the result,
for that must follow sustained effort with mathematical certainty, whether the
process of its working be visible to them or not.
47.
And not only should a
parent watch his thoughts, but his moods also. A child is quick to notice and
to resent injustice; and if he finds himself scolded at one time for an action
which on another occasion caused only amusement, what wonder that his sense of
the invariability of nature's laws is outraged! Again, when trouble and sorrow
comes upon the parent, as in this world it sometimes must, it is surely his
duty to try, as far as possible, to prevent his load of grief from weighing
upon his children as well as upon himself; at least when in their presence he
should make a special effort to be cheerful and resigned, lest the dull, leaden
hue of depression should extend itself from his aura to theirs.
48.
Yet again, many a
well-meaning parent has an anxious and fussy nature — is always fidgeting about
trifles, and worrying his children and himself about matters which are really
quite unimportant. If he could but observe clairvoyantly the utter unrest and
disquiet which he thus produces in his aura, and could further see how these
vibrations introduce quite unnecessary agitation and irritation into the
susceptible auras of his children, he would no longer be surprised at their
occasional outbursts of petulance or nervous excitability, and would realize
that in such a case he is often far more to blame than they. What he should
contemplate and set before him as his object, is a restful, unruffled spirit —
the peace which passeth all understanding — the perfect calm which comes from
the confidence that all will at last be well.
49.
It is further obvious
that the training of the parents' character which is necessitated by these
considerations is in every respect a splendid one, and that in thus helping on
the evolution of their children they also benefit themselves to an extent which
is absolutely incalculable, for the thoughts which at first have been summoned
by conscious effort for the sake of the child will soon become natural and
habitual, and will in time form the background of the parents' entire life.
50.
It must not be
supposed that these precautions may be relaxed as the child grows older, for
though this extraordinary sensitiveness to the influence of his surroundings
commences as soon as the ego descends upon the embryo, sometimes long before
birth takes place, it continues in most cases up to about the period of
maturity. If such influences as are above suggested have been brought to bear
upon him during infancy and childhood, the child of twelve or fourteen will be
far better equipped for the efforts which lie before him than his less
fortunate companions with whom no special trouble has been taken. But it must
be remembered that he is still far more impressionable than an adult, and the
same strong help and guidance upon the mental plane must still be continued in
order that the good habits both of thought and of action may not yield before
the newer temptations which are likely to assail him.
51.
Responsibility of the
Teacher
52.
Although in his
earlier years it was naturally chiefly to his parents that he had to look for
such assistance, all that has been said of their duties applies equally to
anyone who comes into contact with children in any capacity, and most
especially to those who undertake the tremendous responsibilities of the
teacher. The influence of a teacher for good or for evil over his pupils is one
that cannot readily be measured, and (exactly as before) it depends not only
upon what he says or what he does, but even more upon what he thinks. Many a
teacher repeatedly reproves in his children the exhibition of tendencies for
the creation of which he is himself directly responsible; if his thought is
selfish or impure, then he will find selfishness and impurity reflected all
around him, nor does the evil caused by such a thought end with those whom it
immediately affects.
53.
The young minds upon
which it is reflected take it up and magnify and strengthen it, and thus it
reacts upon others in turn and becomes an unholy tradition handed down from one
generation of children to another. Happily a good tradition may be set up
almost as easily as a bad one — not quite as easily, because there are always
undesirable external influences to be taken into account; but still a teacher
who realizes his responsibilities and manages his school upon the principles
that have been suggested will very soon find that his self-control and devotion
have not been fruitless.
54.
I am convinced that
there is only one way in which either parent or teacher can really obtain
effective influence over a child and draw out all the best that is in him — and
that is by winning his love and confidence. It is true that obedience may be
extorted and discipline preserved by inspiring fear, but rules enforced by such
a method are kept only so long as he who imposes them (or someone representing
him) is present, and are invariably broken when there is no fear of detection;
the child keeps them because he must, and not because he wishes to do so.
55.
But if on the other
hand, his affection has been invoked, his will at once ranges itself on the
side of the rule; he wishes to keep it, because he knows that in breaking it he
would cause sorrow to one whom he loves; and if only this feeling be strong
enough, it will enable him to rise superior to all temptation, and the rule
will be binding no matter who may be present or absent. Thus the object is
attained not only much more thoroughly, but also much more easily and
pleasantly both for teacher and pupil, and all the best side of the child's
nature is called into activity, instead of all the worst. Instead of rousing
the child's will into sullen and persistent opposition, the teacher arrays it
on his own side in the contest against distractions or temptations; and thus
results are achieved which could never be approached on the other system.
56.
It is of the utmost
importance always to try to understand the child, and to make him feel certain
that he has one's friendliness and sympathy. All appearance of harshness must
be carefully avoided, and the reason for all instructions given to him should
always be fully explained. It must indeed be made clear to him that sometimes
sudden emergencies arise in which the older person has no time to explain his
instructions, and he should understand that in such a case he should obey even
though he may not fully comprehend; but even then the explanation should always
be given afterwards.
57.
Unwise parents or
teachers often make the mistake of habitually exacting obedience without understanding
— a most unreasonable demand; indeed they expect from the child at all times
and under all conditions an angelic patience and saintliness which they are
very far indeed from possessing themselves. They have not yet realized that
harshness towards a child is always not only wicked, but absolutely
unreasonable and foolish as well, since it can never be the most effective way
of obtaining from him what is desired.
58.
It often happens that
a child's faults are the direct result of the unnatural way in which he is
treated. Sensitive and nervous to a degree, he constantly finds himself
misunderstood, and scolded or ill-treated for offences whose turpitude he does
not in the least comprehend; is it to be wondered at that when the whole
atmosphere about him reeks with the deceit and falsehood of his elders, his
fears should sometimes drive him into untruthfulness also? Certainly in such a
case the karma of the sin will fall most heavily upon those who, by their
criminal harshness, have placed a weak and undeveloped being in a position
where it was almost impossible for him to avoid it. If we expect truth from our
children, we must first of all practise it ourselves; we must think truth as
well as speak truth and act truth, before we can hope to be strong enough to
save them from the sea of falsehood and deceit which surrounds us on every
side. But if we treat them as reasonable beings — if we explain fully and
patiently what we want from them, and show them that they have nothing to fear
from us — for 'perfect love casteth out fear' — then we shall find no
difficulty about truthfulness.
59.
A curious but not at
all uncommon delusion is that children can never be good unless they are
unhappy, that they must be thwarted at every turn, and never by any chance
allowed to have their own way in anything, because when they are enjoying
themselves they must necessarily be in a condition of desperate wickedness!
Absurd and atrocious as this doctrine is, various modifications of it are still
widely prevalent, and it is responsible for a vast amount of cruelty and
unnecessary misery wantonly inflicted upon little creatures whose only crime
was that they were natural and happy. Undoubtedly nature intended that
childhood should be a happy time, and we ought to spare no efforts to make it
so, for in that respect as in all others, if we thwart nature we do so at our
peril.
60.
Children are Egos
61.
It will help us much
in our dealings with children if we remember that they also are egos, that
their small and feeble physical bodies are after all but the accident of the
moment, and that in reality we are all about the same age. Our business in
training them is to develop only that in their lower nature which will
co-operate with the ego — which will make it a better channel for the ego to work
through. Long ago, in the golden age of the old Atlantean civilization, the
importance of the office of the teacher of the children was so fully recognized
that none was permitted to hold it except a trained clairvoyant, who could see
all the latent qualities and capabilities of his charges, and could, therefore,
work intelligently with each so as to develop what was good in him, and to
amend what was evil.
62.
In the distant future
it may be that that will be so once more; but that time is as yet far away, and
we have to do our best under less favourable conditions. Yet unselfish
affection is a wonderful quickener of the intuition, and those who really love
their children will rarely be at a loss to comprehend their needs; and keen and
persistent observation will give them, though at the cost of much more trouble,
some approach to the clearer insight of their Atlantean predecessors. At any
rate, it is well worth the trying, for when once we realize our true
responsibility in relation to children, we shall assuredly think no labour too
great which enables us to discharge it better.
63.
Theosophy for Children
64.
A word should be said
in conclusion upon the subject of religious training. Many members of the
Theosophical Society, while feeling that their children need something to take
the place filled in ordinary education by religious training, have yet found it
almost impossible so to put Theosophy before them as to make it in any way
intelligible to them. Some have even permitted their children to go through the
ordinary routine of Bible lessons, saying that they did not know what else to
do, and that though much of the teaching was obviously untrue it could be
corrected afterwards. This, however, is a course which is entirely
indefensible; no child should ever waste its time in learning what it will have
to unlearn afterwards. If the true inner meaning of Christianity could be
taught to our children, that indeed were well, because of course that would be
pure Theosophy.
65.
Nor is there any real
difficulty in putting the grand truths of Theosophy intelligibly before the
minds of our children. Certainly it is useless, at first, to trouble them with
rounds and races, with lunar pitris and manasaputras; but then, however
interesting and valuable all this information may be, it is of little
importance in the practical regulation of conduct, whereas the great ethical
truths upon which the whole system rests can, happily be made clear even to the
childish understanding. What could be simpler in essence than the three great
truths which are given to Sensa in The Idyll of the White Lotus?
66.
"The soul of man
is immortal, and its future is the future of a thing whose growth and splendour
have no limit.
67.
The principle which
gives life dwells in us and without us, is undying and eternally beneficent, is
not heard, nor seen, nor smelt, but is perceived by the man who desires
perception.
68.
Each man is his own
absolute law-giver, the dispenser of glory or gloom to himself — the decreer of
his life, his reward, his punishment.
69.
These truths, which are
as great as is life itself, are as simple as the simplest mind of man. Feed the
hungry with them."
70.
We might express these
more tersely by saying: 'Man is immortal; god is good; as we sow, so shall we
reap.' But surely none of our children can fail to grasp these simple ideas in
their broad outline, though as they grow older they may spend many a year in
learning more and more of the immensity of their full meaning. Teach them the
grand old formula that 'death is the gate of life' — not a terrible fate to be
feared, but simply a stage of progress to be welcomed with interest. Teach them
to live, not for themselves, but for others — to go through the world as
friends and helpers, earnest in loving reverence and care for all living
things. Teach them to delight in seeing and in causing happiness in others, in
animals and birds as well as in human beings; teach them that to cause pain to
any living thing is always a wicked action, and can never have aught of
interest or amusement for any right-thinking or civilized man. A child's
sympathies are so easily roused, and his delight in doing something is so great
that he responds at once to the idea that he should try to help, and should
never harm, all the creatures around him. He should be taught to be observant, that
he may see where help is needed, whether by man or by animal, and promptly to
supply the want so far as lies in his power.
71.
A child likes to be
loved, and he likes to protect, and both these feelings may be utilized in
training him to be a friend of all creatures. He will readily learn to admire
flowers as they grow, and not wish to pluck them heedlessly, casting them aside
a few minutes later to wither on the roadside; those which he plucks he will
pick carefully, avoiding injury to the plant; he will preserve and tend them,
and his way through wood and field will never be traceable by fading blossoms
and uprooted plants.
72.
Physical Training and
Purity
73.
Do not forget also
that the physical training of the child is a matter of the greatest importance,
and that a strong, pure, healthy body is necessary for the full expression of
the developing soul within. Teach him from the first the exceeding importance
of physical purity, so that he may regard his daily bath just as much an
integral part of his life as his daily food. See to it that his body is never
befouled with such filthy abominations of modern savagery as meat, alcohol or
tobacco; see to it that he has always plenty of sunlight, of fresh air and of
exercise. So shall he grow up pure, healthy and happy; so shall you provide for
the soul entrusted to your care a casket of which it need not be ashamed, a
vehicle through which it shall receive only the highest and best that the
physical world can give — which it can use as a fitting instrument for the noblest
and the holiest work.
74.
As the parent teaches
the child, he will also be obliged to set the example in this as in other
things, and so the child will thus again civilize his elders as well as improve
himself. Birds and butterflies, cats and dogs, all will be his friends, and he
will delight in their beauty instead of longing to chase or destroy them.
Children thus trained will grow up into men and women recognizing their place
in evolution and their work in the world, and each will serve as a fresh centre
of humanizing force, gradually changing the direction of human influence on all
lower things.
75.
If thus we train our
children, if we are thus careful in our relations with them, we shall bear
nobly our great responsibility, and in so doing we shall help on the grand work
of evolution; we shall be doing our duty, not only to our children, but to the
human race — not only to their egos, but to those of the many millions yet to
come.
------------------------